Ukuleles.

I’ll upload a song of me playing later, I’m not all that good but I’m trying very hard :] I have a soprano ukulele and I’m looking to buy an electric one or possibly a baritone because I think the sound would be unique or similar to a guitar :]

The one thing that my mother regrets is marrying my father.

I had a heart to heart conversation with my mother last night about life, careers, marriage and everything in general. It was one of those heart wrenching conversations that left us crying in a heap of our miseries and unchangeable misfortunes. As a high school graduate I often tell myself that leaving home to go to college will finally be my stepping stone to independence. I usually have good feelings about visualizing my new life and experiencing things that i’ll finally be able to do, but in rare occasions like these I will truly miss my mother. After having a long conversation with her I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling relieved of the tension of feeling worthless that my self loathing of having no chance in a possible successful future was just a distant dream. It just feels nice knowing that someone believes in you, is proud of you and all that you’ve accomplished in life. I suppose its my naivety or my self-conciousness but still as early as it my be in my looming future I feel destined to failure. Which is probably in everyone’s heads at this age for perhaps a long period of time or just a fleeting thought, a breeze of a nightmare from time to time.

My mother is my hero. She’s the most hardworking and successful person I know. Sometimes I take that for granted or forget how hard she’s worked for me and the family but its so blatantly obvious. Its so obvious you’d have to be blind not to see it, from our grandeur house like an immense eyesore to our neighbors erected from the floor boards of a withering house. She spent over a million putting every bit of herself into the creation of this work of art. I feel out of place in this home of gaudy expensive moldings and granite floors, renaissance art inspired right out of a home decor magazine. My mother used to work in a textile factory in asia, she worked for every penny she earned to form the empire she has today. I may not have the same profession as my mother, but I intend to work for everything with a creativity and passion, just as hard as she did in whatever that may be. I am not daisy